Fireproof: Missing the mark or on target?

The movie Fireproof opened last Friday. The first theater I tried to go to was sold out. The second one was so full I had to sit in the second row. For a limited-release faith-based film that has received mixed reviews, it’s 4th place opening weekend is pretty darn remarkable. Was it the great screenplay or acting? Was it the overt Christian themes? I don’t think so. Rather, I think its strength reflects the importance of the topic: marriage. And its treatment of the topic earns it this advice from me: everyone should see this movie.

I came out of the theater with a few complaints of my own. I don’t watch zillions of movies but I can occasionally be a bit critical. I’m particularly critical of ‘Christian’ movies (despite being a Christian), usually because they’re frankly not always that well made. The Passion passed with flying colors – I found myself engrossed in the movie and not really thinking much about the production. This movie, on the other hand, had a few moments that made it obvious (to me) that it wasn’t simply a great film.

Okay, it wasn’t that bad. Despite the few half eye rolls, it really was pretty decent. There were some moments that were quite clever, some unexpectedly good humor, and some other truly powerful emotions.

What really made the movie shine, though, was the content. The subject of marriage is important to just about everyone. You’ve either been married, are married, might be married some day, had parents that were married, … or had parents that weren’t married. Regardless, this movie speaks to that condition that affects us all so powerfully. But even the topic itself isn’t what’s most brilliant about it.

At first glance, it might seem that the message is that it’s impossible to have a good healthy marriage without being a Christian. Or maybe it’s just better that way. In fact, several reviewers have dissed the movie for appearing to say that. And, I’m sure the filmmakers might have had that in mind. The characters in the movie who promote Christianity as a key to a good marriage come across as genuine and not overpowering.

But a message even more foreign to our pop culture is more subtly presented. It’s a message that people need to hear, understand, and adopt. In the film, the central couple are struggling and the husband is given a book (the Love Dare). It has 40 days of (good – loving) things to do. Much of the movie revolves around him doing some of those things and how poorly a lot of it turned out.

The point there, not loudly stated and easily missed, is that love is really not about some warm fuzzy emotional feeling. Love is about what you say and do for the benefit of someone else.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to understand that concept if you’re going to have a good marriage… or any good relationship. Most people have love backwards – “it’s all about me”. In the movie, the couple had love backwards. The idea of the Love Dare was quite simple: turn it around and do it the right way. Love the other person whether you feel like it or not, and whether they respond or not. In the film, of course, it works, and in real life it often does, too. Not coincidentally, that’s a very Christian view of love.

We can learn a lot about love from the Fireproof movie. It might not have been Academy Award material, but it’s definitely worth watching. And if you happen to be in the far-too-common rocky marriage, you owe it to yourself and your spouse to go see the movie. It’ll tell you your own story and show you what you can do to make your situation better. And for that, it might just be the best movie you ever watch.

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