The Negotiating Table

This evening, important negotiations took place. These negotiations were not held with a mediator from the National Mediation Board, but I observed them to ensure their fairness. I was favorably impressed with the quality of negotiations, especially considering the difference in relative experience between the two sides. The parties were:

Mom: expert negotiator – 11 years experience married to the mediator
Edison: Age 3 1/2 – up and coming heavy hitter
Dad: Mediator and expert negotiator in his own right (to know him is to negotiate with him)

At the table was a dinner consisting of steak and broccoli and Oreo cookies for dessert. The dialog was more or less as follows:

Edison: Can I have some more steak?
Mom: You ate all yours already.
Edison: Yeah, but I want more steak.
Mom: Well I only have three pieces left.
Edison: Can I have those?
Mom: You haven’t eaten any of your broccoli.
Edison: Dad, can I have some more steak?
Dad: This steak is for me (pointing to steak on his plate). If you eat it, what am I going to eat?
Edison: You can eat the steak you make now.
Dad: There’s no more steak.
Edison: But I want some more steak.
Dad: Okay, if you finish your broccoli before I finish my steak, I’ll give you the rest of it.
Mom: Edison, if you really want these three pieces of steak, I’ll save them for you, but you’ll have to eat your broccoli.
Edison: (counts his broccoli) I’ll eat three broccolis and then I can have your steak.
Mom: (laughing almost uncontrollably) I think I need to cut these pieces of steak up smaller for you.
Mom proceeds to cut the three pieces of steak into ten pieces of steak
Mom: Okay, how many pieces of steak are there, Edison?
Edison: (counts the pieces of steak) Ten.
Mom: You eat ten pieces of broccoli and then you can have these ten pieces of steak.
Edison: Okay.
Dad quickly finishes his steak to avoid a double bonus for Edison and gets out the Oreos
Edison: Dad, can I have a cookie?

Needless to say, a new round of negotiation was completed. In the end, Edison ate the broccoli, the steak, and the cookie and Mom and Dad had a good laugh. If he continues for the next 3 1/2 years to learn the art of negotiation at roughly the pace he has for the last 3 1/2 years, we’ll have to send him to negotiate our next pilot contract. 😉

V-