Timeout! (stock photo courtesy of http://photl.com)
In writing this article, I hope to accomplish two things:
- Outline some common types of dishonesty and suggest specific ways to improve.
- Provide a sticky, convenient reference that can be reused to encourage improved honesty.
My purpose here isn’t to insult or degrade anyone. Honesty is a touchy subject and many people don’t take kindly to being informed of their dishonesty. Some people are simply unaware they’re being dishonest. Others may feel it’s okay because some of these types of dishonesty seem socially acceptable.
Regardless of the reason, I don’t think dishonesty is okay. My goal is to be as honest as I can be and I believe it’s best if everyone does likewise. If you catch me being dishonest, feel free to refer me to this article with an explanation of what I’ve done wrong. I’m not perfect and want to improve.
We stress honesty in our home, but with other people it’s difficult to know how to respond. It’s easy to sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen. Alas, that does nothing to solve the problem. It’s also easy to overreact and insult the dishonest person, which rarely makes things better. I’m hoping this article provides a better way to alert people to potential dishonesty and provide a dignified opportunity to correct and improve.
The list below isn’t an exhaustive list of ways to be dishonest, but these are common types of dishonesty that I observe regularly. I’ve omitted some of the most egregious forms (eg. fabrication) because I hope they’re obvious enough to skip. Without further ado, here’s the list with specific suggestions for improvement:
- Misquoting – Unless it’s obviously satirical (eg. the Abraham Lincoln quote about the internet), misquoting is dishonest. Paraphrases should accurately convey what the person actually said. Memes are frequent offenders and passing along a dishonest meme without a disclaimer is, itself, dishonest. To improve, fact check memes before posting. If you’re not certain they’re accurate, include a clear disclaimer. If you can’t think of something better, try this: “Warning: I don’t know if this meme is honest.” Note that misquoting can include plagiarism, too.
- Inaccurate summary/headline – Communication (especially news and other articles) sometimes contains summaries or headlines that are either inaccurate or not related to the full souce. Writing such a summary or headline is dishonest. To avoid spreading dishonest summaries or headlines, clearly state what is deficient when posting. For example: “This headline is untrue,” or, “This summary doesn’t describe the article.”
- Tardiness/no-show – Being late or not showing up to a commitment is dishonesty. To avoid this kind of dishonesty, be on time. If you’re not confident you can make the deadline, don’t commit. If something unexpected comes up and you cannot make it on time (or at all), do everything you can to let the other people involved know as soon as possible, and include an apology.
- Under-performance – Tardiness is just one form of under-performance. If you commit to another person, not meeting the standards you’ve set is dishonest, even if you’re on time. Instead, do what you say you’re going to do. If you’re not sure you can meet the standards, don’t commit. If something unexpected happens, notify the other people involved and include an apology (some types of under-performance may warrant compensation as well). For all types of under-performance, notify those involved as soon as possible. Once you know you can’t perform, any controllable delay in notification is dishonest.
- Bigotry – It is convenient to generalize, but making general statements about groups of people is frequently dishonest. Sensitivity to racism, sexism, and some other forms of bigotry is growing, but this remains a popular form of dishonesty. One way to check for dishonesty is to try starting your general statement with, “all” (eg. “all left-handed people”). If it is true (eg. “all left-handed people are left-hand dominant.”) then your statement is honest. If not, avoid the generalization or qualify it accurately (eg. “a few left-handed people are criminals,” or “many left-handed people are brilliant.”).
- Unsupported assertions – Making a claim without supplying supporting evidence isn’t always dishonest. However, stating a claim as fact for which there is no supporting evidence, or even clearly contradicting evidence, is dishonest. If your assertion can’t be well supported, try saying, “I think,” “I believe,” “may,” or, “In my opinion…”
- Jumping to conclusions – Sometimes, combinations of true statements can be assembled to paint a broader picture that isn’t true. Believing the conclusion isn’t necessarily wrong, but stating it as fact is dishonest. Avoiding this kind of dishonesty is similar to avoiding unsupported assertions, except in this case, it is the conclusion that requires clarification.
- Important omission – Completely comprehensive information is rarely necessary or expedient, and omitting unimportant details isn’t necessarily dishonest. However, omitting a known piece of important and relevant information can be dishonest. This is a judgment call, but if you think something is important, it’s better to include it. Try opening with, “There’s something else you may want to know.”
Maybe you’ve done one or more of the things I’ve mentioned above. If so, an ideal way to respond would be to make a correction and apologize for the error. If the error is public, the correction and apology should be, too.
Maybe you’ve encountered someone else being dishonest. Feel free to pass this on with a gentile encouragement to correct and apologize. Doing so in private might be better, at least initially.
In addition to advocating honesty, I advocate forgiveness, too. It takes hard work and good character to be honest. We all mess up from time to time, and I think it’s best to forgive and encourage those who are trying to improve. Rather than using this as a weapon to attack people, I hope this serves as an encouragement to be more honest.
V-