Since the last visiting update, we did a lot more visiting. Last Thursday, we had a chance to go visit Marshall. On our previous trip to California in May, we had a ‘bye’ party for him. At that time, his diagnosis was fairly recent (February or so) and he was still feeling up to that kind of visiting (i.e. away from his home and in groups). Things are a bit different now.<\/p>\n
We arrived at his home in the evening. His wife, Joan, greeted us at the door. He was awake and fairly alert, sitting in his chair. It soon became apparent, though, that the pain medication he’s taking is slowing him down. Now, he thinks at roughly the same pace the rest of us think at. <\/p>\n
I would just be guessing if I said we were there for about a half hour. The kids played with their bird and each other. Marshall and the rest of us talked. He gets tired more quickly now and it’s apparent that he’s deteriorating at an easily observable pace now. The chemo pretty much quit working a month or two ago. <\/p>\n
He had been planning for many months to go on a trip to Europe and the middle east with Alan Schaffer, who is now the President of the Alliance for the Separation of School and State. At first, it appeared at least somewhat likely that he would be able to go. As time went on, it started to look a little more questionable. Finally a couple weeks ago, he decided not to go. Marshall gave his trip to Alan’s wife and he seemed at peace with that decision. <\/p>\n
Despite his slowing condition, he was able to tell about some of the things he’s been up to. One of them is reconnecting with people of some sort of significance that he hasn’t talked to recently. I asked him if he’s been doing any writing and he seemed a little frustrated with his ‘not really’ answer. He has a fairly extensive bucket list which included writing, but it seems he’s focused more on trips (shorter these days) and visiting with people. <\/p>\n
As he fairly quickly wore out, it seemed more likely that this would be the last time I see him alive. At this point, we don’t have a plan for another trip to California (we haven’t developed our 2009 travel plans yet) and a short-notice trip isn’t very likely, or at least not for the whole family. <\/p>\n
When I asked him how much longer he thought he might live, he reviewed the history of his diagnosis and prognosis. In March, the diagnosis was confirmed and he (and the doctors) estimated 6 to 20 months. As time has gone on, those precious months have been consumed. Now, 6 months later, he has exceeded the low end of the range and his hunch is maybe another 4 to 8 months. And that might be in the ballpark. At the very least, we can be glad that he has done as well as he has and that we were able to see him again on this trip. <\/p>\n
This has been a rough year for our friends. Marshall will be the third in roughly a year (possibly less) to pass away due to cancer. I hope that’s the end of it for a while…<\/p>\n
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Since the last visiting update, we did a lot more visiting. Last Thursday, we had a chance to go visit Marshall. On our previous trip to California in May, we had a ‘bye’ party for him. At that time, his diagnosis was fairly recent (February or so) and he was \u2026 Continue reading